This Ain't No City Driving

I am jobless for a week! Hoorah! It's almost like vacation, except that I have tons of shit to do! All the same, I got to catch up on my sleep and finally get some more fishing in. That's exactly what I needed. So, in honor of all of my time on the road in the past few weeks, I am going to give you all a list of driving tips to help you get along with your fellow road-dwellers:

1. Left lane is for passing! Especially when driving up high mountain passes! If there are no lanes (aka-dirt road) pull of if you have cars that are obviously faster drivers and need to get by. It will be safer for both of you.

2. A green turning arrow means you can turn in front of the traffic facing you. This is to allow you to cross the lane of oncoming traffic before they go. DO NOT sit like an ass in the turning lane, only to finally realize the arrow is green and pull out suddenly as the only guy to make the light. You just screwed everybody else.

3. If you have more than 5 cars stuck behind you at any time, pull the fuck over and let them by. What is so great about you that you can sit there like the proud leader of a race and slow so many others down? Fuck you, pull over!

4. In Colorado there is a chance that deer and elk will be in the road. Drivers "in the know" will signal you if you are coming up on a group of animals in the road. If a car coming the other way flashes their headlights on and off, do not blind them with your brights and flip them the finger like some stupid tourist. Instead, keep your eyes on the road and look for the deer. If they are concerned with your brights blinding them, they will blind you back, not flash the lights off and on.

5. Finally, if you are blown away by the sights to the sides of the road, do not drive along, gaping like some fucking retard with a crayon stuck in his throat. Pull off the road and look. You driving so fucking slow with your attention diverted is dangerous, especially on mountain roads. You are not going to lose any time if you pull off the snap your fucking picture, so do so, or expect to get cut off by an angry local.

Ok, this turned into a rant. I better go. Tight lines, all!