Holi-daze

Where does it all end? I am back, writing because although I have been away from the blog for a while, I need some therapy again. The new dog ran off a total of about 10 times, we got her back each time. It got really old, and as bad as I felt, I found her a new home today. It pulls at my guilt strings tremendously, as I had gotten to know her rather well and found myself attached. All the same, she was going to get hurt and I sure as shit don't need the extra stress.

Work is going well. Finally I am feeling competant at my new job. It took a lot of learning, but I am coming right along.

Now for the low, I had a complete blowout argument with my girlfriend last night. Oh god, it was viscious. I don't even want to think about it. It all started when I was trying to send some pictures of our yard to her dad, as we wanted to show him all the snow. We took a bunch of pictures, and I downloaded them onto my computer. I was goin around trying to find where I had placed them when I came across a couple of old bondage photos I had downloaded at some point. Unfortunately, the lil' lady saw them and flipped shit. She scolded me, called me some horrible things, and treated me like she had just caught me in bed with another man. Her side of it is that if I have the need to "bring other women into the house" (referencing the pictures), then we have a serious problem. Basically, she saw things along the lines of looking at pornography being on par with cheating, as she feels there is no way you could be totally in love with somebody and still be able to find somebody else attractive enough to get off on it. I tried to explain that looking at internet pictures and bringing another female home are two very different things, and that masterbation is not something that only the lowest of perverts ever does. That was the jist of things, and it became a real screaming match in which I got called a lot of nasty things, all the while trying to explain why it should not be such a big deal that I have looked at these pictures on occasion.

What do you think? Is it really on par with cheating to look at a picture and masterbate to it when you are in a relationship? Is masterbation wrong in a relationship, or is it masterbation to pictures of other women that is so horrid? Or, is it possible that masterbating on occasion to satisfy a sexual need in harmless and should be viewed as normal. I tried to argue that point, but it fell on deaf ears. Ok, I can't even talk about this any more.