Back in the Saddle Again

A new stab at it. That's what I thought I'd try. I had all but given up on blogging. I just couldn't sit back and write about all the shit anymore. I didn't want to just look at it and assess it. I needed to try and change some things. Oh god, life has been a whirlwind.

I have not moved again, I'm still in the mountains, I am still working the same job, and things are still as unstable and crazy as always. The troublesome "new" dog is gone. We found her a new owner several months ago, and she is very happy with this couple apparently. Thank god, I was over her. Winter has been particularly cold, and I am definately ready for some thawing and fishing soon. I have been reorganizing my tackle box in anticipation. Skiing is fun, and keeping me in shape. The usual shit...

Sex life is limping along a bit, but not unfixable. Why do I feel so distracted sometimes? You know what part of the problem is? I have these things that I love to involve in the bedroom, and while I have accepted them within myself, I can't seem to make myself try these things on the lil' lady for fear of embarressment. Unfortunatley, we have had a couple of situations in which she said something or acted in a way that really poured salt in my insecurity-about-my-sexuality wound, and it tripped the "I will never do this again" flag. It has happened several times, and while each time I have managed to bounce back and get back to where we were when we left off, I have trouble lifting our alternative lovelife to any further level due to a complete lack of energy. I want it and would love it, but I feel like the only reason the ll' lady lets me tie her up is because she knows I like it. I know she thinks parts of it are fun, but I don't know that she can feel the same intensity that I do. Can a person who was not born kinky ever find themself into bondage? Hell if I know, that's a big question...

Ok, I'm out of typing energy. Maybe I'll post a few stories soon. I'll have to see if I can get back on the blogwagon. Peace.