Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

I swear, what I am about to say is true. I feel like I am making this shit up at this point, but no, life seems to be a circus.

It all began Friday night. I woke up very early and noticed our new dog had pushed her way through the opening I left in the door for the cats, and she was gone. I didn't know what to do, but it was still dark out, and she is a black dog. I realized this after driving around for about 30 minutes searching, and returned home to try to get some sleep. I woke up a couple of hours later, and there was the missing mutt, soaking wet and laying on the floor. Thank god, one less thing to worry about. I fell back to sleep.

When I woke up an hour later, as you had probably already guessed, the dog was gone again. I had not shut the door, thinking she would stay in now that she had her adventure.

Well, another search of the neighborhood turned up the dog, and the day went on as planned.

After a Halloween party on Saturday night, we came home and crashed, and I made sure to make the opening for the cats smaller so the dog could not get out. Oh yes, the dog pushed the door open wider and got out, and it was in the middle of a blizzard. Why would a dog "escape" the house in the middle of a blizzard? I have no clue. She had, though, and my stomach sunk.

I searched for about 20 minutes, and gave up. It was hard to see with all the snow, and I figured maybe she would come home again when she got cold. She did not. I waited and waited, more pissed off than worried, and finally decided to go back out and look. I got about a block from the house when I saw a guy with 2 dogs, one of which looked very much like mine. I had my neck craned around and was staring at the dog when BAM!!!! the car was stopped. The windshield was broken. My head hurt. There was a concrete divider against the front of my car. Fuck!

At this point, I was in a state of wonder at the amount of trouble this dog was causing me. Is it evil to give a dog you just adopted up for another adoption? The car was ok, I had only been going about 5 mph, but my head and neck are very sore. We found the dog again, she is here beside me, and will be locked in at this point. I am still bewildered at the whole situation. Bravo to me.

On the bright side, work is going well and life is pretty chill here (both the weather and the vibe). That's my story for the night. When I write next time, I really hope I have nothing to write about. I don't need any more stories to tell right now. I think it is too cold to fish now, though I may still give it a go if the lakes aren't frozen. Good night.

The wine glass is empty

Wow. I guess I am settling in. I don't really know for sure. Wine and weed are combining to make a good feeling of comfortably numb. Enough of the drunken antics...

Life has been less than hell lately, though I am still hoping that the lil' lady will settle in a bit more. Times are still tough, but I realize that things could be worse. What am I saying? Compared to a lot of people my life is wonderful. Compared to others it sucks. I am right there in the spectrum. There are a lot of good things right now, and other things that still need work.

I have said enough. I better quit before the wine gets me in trouble. G'night to my 1 reader!

Aftermath

Life seems to be settling in a little, which scares me. Something is bound to happen soon. I wonder what it could be next. I am not letting my guard down.

I am now taking the time each day to really appreciate being able to just sit and not worry. Stress is hard on me, and I feel about a year older than when I began the move. Things have potential to be really good here. I am excited. Good things can happen. I just have to keep the lil' lady happy right now until she can get herself settled in a little better, and I think we will be off to a decent start.

Winter is rolling in fast, and it has been below 40 degrees for about 3 days straight with not even a glimpse of direct sunlight. I need a sunny day. I want a little more warmth.

At any rate, I think it would do me some good to begin updating this thing again. It is therapeautic to write about the hard times, and feels good to retell the best. I will be around more. Maybe I will make another attempt at getting this blog linked up, maybe I can actually get some readers. Is that what I want? We'll see. Until next time, have a good fall season!

Hell Day

Blogging has found itself a little further down on my priority list. I guess it doesn’t matter, nobody really reads this thing anyway. I can’t help but wonder about the amusing tales I may have written should I have kept up with this thing better. Oh well, I have lost many fine ideas for writing due to not putting them down on paper immediately.

So yesterday I had the day from Hell. Truly, I shit you now. I thought things had reached their maximum point of stress, and little did I even realize just how bad things can get. As I may have mentioned before, one of our cats has been missing for about a month now, and it really put a strain on our lives here. I was sad and dedicated much of my time to trying to locate our little guy, but the lil’ lady was torn apart. She had raised this cat from a kitten and the fact he was missing was absolutely more than she could handle. At first she blamed the move, and in doing so she totally tore apart our lives here, saying that we moved away from everything good, and that now we were stuck living somewhere that she could never live, and that all the choices we just made were completely in error. Well, this came out of left field, as I thought our new life was pretty damn nice. She shredded it all, made it sound like she was ready to get the hell out of here, with or without me.

Well, time healed the wound a bit, and I thought we were getting our feet back under us. She has met some people, and actually has some things she gets to do during the week that really excite her. She still breaks down and cries about the cat on occasion, but things had improved.

Cue yesterday. Actually, let’s start the night before. The stars were shining, we smoked a bowl and went out to watch the stars. The dogs finished their pee runs, and we headed upstairs, leaving all three of our other cats outside. Well, we forgot to keep the doors propped open, and the cats were locked out. I woke with a start the next morning at about 6:00 AM remembering this. I sprung out of my bed and ran downstairs to let the cats in. It was about 28 degrees F outside, and I figured they would be waiting right there to run right in. I was wrong. I waited and waited, and after about 10 minutes one of the cats came in. I decided to leave the door open and let the others find their way, as I crawled back into bed to try and get warm again. Two hours of laying there waiting for the sound of cats coming in was too much to bare. What a horrible way to start the day. I didn’t dare think about what would happen if these cats mysteriously disappeared like our other one. Oh god.

8:00 rolls around, time to get up and get to work. The lil’ lady was up and trying to get out the door, and never even realized the events of the night before. It’s better that way. She would have flipped out. I try to act like nothing is amiss, and she leaves for work not ever knowing anything is up. So begins the first half of Hellday.

As soon as I am alone I begin a search of the neighborhood. I begin on foot, but after searching the most probable close areas, I realize I need to cover more ground (as if a cat would come when called anyway, I am convinced looking for cats is a hopeless endeavor). I get my bike out and begin a road assault, and just in case, I leave the door cracked so the cats could get back in. As I ride and call, I think about how I took it for granted that last night was my last night living my normal life, how when the lil’ lady finds out about this, our lives will crumble and soon I will be in the midst of a new Great Depression in our relationship. I can’t take another one. I need some fucking normalcy. This is all killing me. I know she can’t take two more animals missing. I can’t take long nights of crying, searching, being awake all night. I can’t even imagine making up a whole new set of flyers. How can this be happening?

I search everywhere within a half mile. Where would they be hiding? It snowed last night, they are bound to be somewhere where there is cover. I decide to head home and see if they scooted back my way. As I near the driveway, I am horror stricken: I see one of the dogs standing in the driveway, looking for me. Oh god. I run inside and call. No dogs in the house. They all got out when I stupidly left the door cracked, and now I am missing two dogs as well as the cats.

Back on the bike. I must find the dogs. I am screaming their names, I am numb, I just wish that I could go back, open that fucking door the night before. Because of my forgetfulness, I have just sacrificed everything. What am I going to do?

One of the dogs comes running back around the house. I stick her inside, and I head out to find the final remaining dog. About a half a mile down the road, I find her running the in opposite direction. She turns and begins walking toward me when I call, and finally begins to follow me back to the house. It seems to take an hour, but I finally get her back and in the house. I crash on the couch and wonder what to do next. I can’t possibly find cats while riding around on a bike calling for them. They don’t respond like dogs.

I decide to get to work and see if I can pass the day, telling myself they will be home in the evening. I cannot keep my mind on work and all I can think about is how the lil lady is going to handle the news. How should I break it to her? I am scared that she will break down right there in front of me. Will she be brave and just begin the searching process all over again? I can’t bare the thought, can she? Maybe I should lie, and say I saw them and they went back out. That would leave the chance open that they would come home tonight and I would not have to deal with the trauma. Shit.

The day passes slowly, and every hour I go outside and call for the cats, hoping they will run out of a culvert or around the corner. Where the hell could they be? Would two cats really just run off? My brain says no, but my gut feeling is rotten. Please let them get home before the lil’ lady comes home.

This was one of the most dreadful days I have experienced, and about 2 hours after my lil mamma got home, the cats came home too. This experience has changed me. It aged me, for one thing, but it really made me appreciate once again how fragile our comfortable lives can be. Be careful, and don’t take too much for granted. You can find it has all changed in a heartbeat.