This Ain't No City Driving

I am jobless for a week! Hoorah! It's almost like vacation, except that I have tons of shit to do! All the same, I got to catch up on my sleep and finally get some more fishing in. That's exactly what I needed. So, in honor of all of my time on the road in the past few weeks, I am going to give you all a list of driving tips to help you get along with your fellow road-dwellers:

1. Left lane is for passing! Especially when driving up high mountain passes! If there are no lanes (aka-dirt road) pull of if you have cars that are obviously faster drivers and need to get by. It will be safer for both of you.

2. A green turning arrow means you can turn in front of the traffic facing you. This is to allow you to cross the lane of oncoming traffic before they go. DO NOT sit like an ass in the turning lane, only to finally realize the arrow is green and pull out suddenly as the only guy to make the light. You just screwed everybody else.

3. If you have more than 5 cars stuck behind you at any time, pull the fuck over and let them by. What is so great about you that you can sit there like the proud leader of a race and slow so many others down? Fuck you, pull over!

4. In Colorado there is a chance that deer and elk will be in the road. Drivers "in the know" will signal you if you are coming up on a group of animals in the road. If a car coming the other way flashes their headlights on and off, do not blind them with your brights and flip them the finger like some stupid tourist. Instead, keep your eyes on the road and look for the deer. If they are concerned with your brights blinding them, they will blind you back, not flash the lights off and on.

5. Finally, if you are blown away by the sights to the sides of the road, do not drive along, gaping like some fucking retard with a crayon stuck in his throat. Pull off the road and look. You driving so fucking slow with your attention diverted is dangerous, especially on mountain roads. You are not going to lose any time if you pull off the snap your fucking picture, so do so, or expect to get cut off by an angry local.

Ok, this turned into a rant. I better go. Tight lines, all!

Rants from my Corner of the Room

Ok, I am in the mood to rant, so here it comes, watch out folks!

First of all, who are these guys (I assume it is men) who pee all over the floor in public toilets? Do they do this at home too? I can understand a drop or two on the rim, but come on! I swear it looks like some of these people must not bother to turn the light on in there. Just take a moment and aim that gun. Jeez...

Next, I may be alone on this one, but I feel it is time to make a call out to our government, as well as our fellow citizens, to stop treating each other like fucking special ed 1st graders. I swear. Take a moment and look around you. I bet there is one of those DANGER stickers on something showing a stick figure getting himself seriously harmed or killed. DONT PUT ARM IN SPINNING BLADES! MAY CAUSE INJURY OR DEATH! Why are we telling these people this? If they stick a fucking fork in a light socket, or if they jump into the front of a snowblower, then why are we trying to save them? Wouldn't it save us all taxes and headaches if we let the stupid people kill themselves off? I mean, shit, even my refridgerator at work has a picture of a guy falling over with the fridge tipping over on top of him. WARNING: DO NOT CRUSH YOURSELF UNDER THIS FRIDGE! MAY CAUSE ABNORMALITIES OF THE SKELETAL STRUCTURE! I mean, who the hell are these people? I vote we all take the time to take responsibility for our actions, and learn that if we jump right into the whirling blades of a combine tractor we won't last long. I think this would also help the rest of the world to repect Americans more.

Speaking of that, can you imagine what Americans would look like to the world if we weren't the #1 super power? I mean, as it is when you travel through Europe you are better off saying you are Canadian if you actually hope to be taken seriously. We are a nation of rich dumbies, protected by superior fire power. Without our guns, I have the feeling we would be on the rung right below Iceland in terms of the respect we command. (BTW- I hear there are a lot of incredibly smart and sexy women in Iceland. Why is it I always pictured it more like Minnesota?)

Finally, why is it that cops seem to always back up other cops' decisions, even when they don't know them. I know a few cops, and when you tell them a story about a guy you know who got royally fucked by the long arm of Johnny Law, they almost always come back in defense of the police, saying they were justified for this reason and that. Fuck them, can't they just stop being robots for one fucking second and have some compassion for those of us who are still free in our minds?

Ok, I feel better. Tomorrow is my last official day of work, but may or may not be my official last day. After tomorrow, my committment with the company is up, but I agreed I may come in and help if I have the energy and they have the need. We'll see. Hello out there, is anyone listening? That's alright, I probably would have hit the back button by now too.

Are Bedposts Important?

The work week. What a thing. The week becomes like a face of the clock. Right now, it is about midway through the work week, which can be seen as about 12:00 noon. Don't I get a day long lunch break then? NO! I must sit here at this computer and do... things. No more, please no more!

Ok, enough work place insanity. So things are moving along at some rate. Not fast, but not super slow, just passing by. The lil lady made my day way better yesterday. After a rough morning, she took me to the living room, stripped me down, and proceeded with one of the most intense massages I have ever received, including some oral sex. I think I learned something about myself with this. She gave me an orgasm (one of my most intense, a story within itself), and then immediately put a condom and me and we began "the dance". I come to find out (no pun intended) that I could go forever in this crazy, post-orgasm state. I can stay hard for a long time at this point, as I usually take quite a lot more stimulation to reach a second orgasm, and in the mean time, we can go at it like animals without any fear of me blowing my load early. Wow, what a thing! So needless to say, I was way satisfied!

So I have noticed as of this past year, whenever I look at somebodies bed I judge it based not on softness or size, not on number of pillows or thickness of blankets. I judge a bed based on one thing: does it have bedposts? Why? Well, for anybody who may not be kink-minded, they are a lot easier to tie a lover to than just running ropes under the mattress. In the nice, roomy master bedroom of my new house, I immediately noticed a minor miracle: not only do I have bedposts, but I have 6 ft tall, super bed posts! I can tie the lil lady standing, laying, and everything in between. Oh, how I want to move to my new house... I need to finish my business here and get the hell out! I might have to treat myself (er, I mean, the lil lady) to some of Monk's hemp ropes. I hear they are hard to beat! Sounds just right as an addition to the super bed posts! Now, the next question: Do you think the guests would notice oddly-placed rings at the top of the posts? Nah....

So the house is kink-friendly, I can begin moving soon, and my job here is almost over! If only it weren't for the law, life would be just fucking grand (another story for later I suppose). Have a good day peeps!

Monday (say it ain't so!)

Another Monday, except this is not just like any other. I am living in that surreal space that is the last week at your job. Job life feels quite strange. I am no longer striving to please or making sure to keep things organized so as to not make a problem in furture operations. Instead, I am here to field day to day calls, I no longer stress about being right on time being productive. I am just putting in the last week of seat time before I head out and begin the moving process. Away I go, retreat to a better place. I will leave this corporation in the dust. I cannot do it. Corp life is not for me.

Why come to work at all? Well, for one, I don't want to drop all of my work load in someone else's lap. I'll ease out of it this week, and others can gradually pick up the slack. I have heard no word of a replacement, so maybe they are simply thinking they can get by without me for a while. I don't really care either way. I am here to get one more measly paycheck, and to make sure I properly fulfill that formal two weeks. Good boy. You learned to protect the interest of the system while in college. Damnit!

Yes, I am living in a somewhat altered state of consciousness. On the one hand, I still have responsibilities and a life here. On the other, my head and heart are already on the road to my new home, a place I hope to settle for a while. I still have plenty of moving anxiety, but I feel like I am bailing out of the sinking ship that was my life in the heavily populated corporate world. It's back to nature for me!

Life rolls on. I am tired but think I can still muster the energy for this transition. It will all be worth it in the end.


Here is a riddle for the day:
You are trying to find the high road in life, and in your path you come to a split. At the fork stand two people. One of them will always tell you the truth, and the other will tell you only lies. You are aware of this fact, but you do not know which person is the liar and which is honest. You can ask only one question, directed at only one of them. What can you ask to be sure you stick to the high road?

This one took me a long time, but I came up with a sufficient answer. Can you figure it out? Good luck with your Mondays, all.

My Dog Says Your Are Evil

Ok, I told myself to stop slacking on the postage, so here I am again. I have been reading a lot of other blogs as of late, and really taking in the whole spectrum. I'll tell you, there are some stories out there that really make my mind do backflips There are some strong people running around in this here world folks, people that inspire me with their endurance through things that I can barely imagine. I have been reading one blog in particular, I think I may link to her permanently, but for now, I will put her link right here. Her name is HeroineGirl, and she has a story of ups and downs that is a hard one to beat. Do yourself a favor and browse her archives.

Wow, I just got a fly-by hello in the office. Some people walk by while maintaining their full walking speed, and just as they pass my door they yell in a "Hi [me]!" I don't mind one bit, it's just that it gives me about .2 seconds to see them, remember their name, and say hello _____! I am not always the quickest with names, so sometimes I am left in an awkward state of hanging on my hello, searching my brain for the right name, unable to find it, jaw left open...

Anyhow, as I was saying... Life is good right now. Finally. Fucking finally. Jesus. I know that there are a lot of people who would like to have a problem like mine, who have things going much worse right now, and I never forget this. All the same, I needed for my life to get back on some sort of track. I was wandering, and now I feel like I found some direction, at least for the near future. We'll see what opportunities arrive as life keeps passing. For now, I am going to be working a better job for better pay, have a better office and a better home, and I will be living in a new, very cool place. I am feeling really good about this right now. A bit apprehensive, as my life took major turns that were both unexpected and very fast.

So I have not been fishing for a while. I have not been doing anything lately, part of the problem with my current location. It is important to stick with your hobbies. Get off these crazy boxes and get yourselves outside people! We all need fresh air!

On a final note, have you ever noticed how animals truly can sense evil in people? It is a very eery thing. I was reminded of this last night when a friend of mine was telling the lil lady and I about her cat. Our friend had been at the end of her rope, because the cat had been acting up and just been a bitch. Our friend then moved away from a rather evil roomate, and the cat is now sweet and happy again. You can't hide your intentions from animals, people. They know you better than you think. At least some life forms around here are truly tapped in to their 6th sense.

Have a good day people! (or should I say, person? Surely there is one person out there by now that at least looks at this with semi-regular consistency {I know I have been bad about posting})

Towel-Slapped in the Locker Room of Life

Wow, it's been a while since the last update. Life has been a giant crazy spin and I had no idea what was happening. Well, my life has taken a turn for the better, though it has been stressful and I am now very busy with moving. I have found a place to live in another town, a town I will like much more than my current one I think. I have found a new job that is offering me more money and a chance to work from my home instead of from a cubicle. That will be nice. I am very happy. Now I am working my last couple of weeks at my current job to help them with finding a replacement. It's wild, I never thought I would be quitting this job so soon, but life has got me tumbling.

Outside of work, life is ok. The lil lady has been cheery lately, aside from the freak outs from all of our stress. We are both cheerful to be moving on, and cannot seem to keep our minds off of our new life ahead.

I will continue to update, but for now, I am tired and my poor brain is recovering.